When my daughter started middle school, we were hit with a wave of new challenges. Gone were the days of one teacher and a single classroom. Suddenly, she had six different teachers, each with their own expectations, schedules, and systems. The shift to managing multiple classes, homework deadlines, and after-school commitments was a lot.
If you’ve ever watched your kid spiral into overwhelmed tears at 9 p.m. because they just remembered they had a history assignment due the next day… hi, you're not alone.
That’s when we started looking into executive function coaches.
PS - if you ARE a coach please reach out so we can list you in this post!
What is Executive Function Coaching?
Executive function refers to the brain’s ability to plan, organize, focus, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. For some kids - especially during the transition into middle or high school - this can be a real sticking point.
Executive function coaches are like personal trainers for the brain. They help kids:
Break big projects into smaller steps
Build systems to track assignments and deadlines
Learn time management and prioritization
Develop routines for studying and staying focused
Build emotional regulation skills around school stress
These coaches typically meet with students weekly (virtually or in person) and focus more on how to learn rather than what to learn.
Our Experience
We hired a coach on Outschool, hoping it would be a silver bullet. And while it definitely helped a little. - especially with understanding how to break things down - it wasn’t a magic fix.
What actually made the biggest difference?
TIME & TRUST
TBH, it took me a while to get there. I realized that so much of my anxiety around her not “getting it” was really about ME. I was worried that her struggles reflected something about my parenting. That if she was behind, I had failed. I was projecting all of my own fears and perfectionism onto her - when what she really needed was room to figure out her own way.
Once I let go of needing to manage everything and allowed her to stumble a bit, she started to build her own systems. First came sticky notes. Then Notion. Slowly, she began checking her own grades, making lists, and (mostly) staying on top of her work.
There’s no one-size-fits-all system. And sometimes the best thing we can do is take a deep breath, step back, and give our kids the space to grow. They might just surprise us.
Can’t Hire a Coach? Try These Hacks:
Coaching isn’t accessible for every family. Here are a few tools that helped us (and might help you too):
Use ChatGPT / Claude or your preferred AI
Paste your child’s weekly schedule or assignment list from Schoology (or whichever platform your school uses) into ChatGPT. I still do this and literally just copy everything in a big chunk and paste it into AI. Ask it to give you a quick summary: What’s due soon? What’s missing or late? It’s an easy way to get clarity without scrolling through a million tabs. You don’t even need to format anything.Build a Dashboard with Notion AI
If your kid is into digital tools (or you're a Notion nerd like me), try setting up a Notion dashboard together (or use a template, there are hundreds!). You can use Notion AI to auto-summarize assignments, track class grades, and even build a weekly to-do list. Create tabs for each subject, include upcoming tests or project deadlines, and link to helpful resources. It’s like a personal command center - and kids love customizing it with icons, emojis, and their own styling - you can even add a playlist of songs, etc.Sunday Night Check-Ins
Spend 15 minutes reviewing the week ahead. What’s due? What needs prep? Is there a test? Treat it like a mini family team meeting.Visual Timers & Planners
Timers like Time Timer or apps like Forest can help kids stay on task. Pomodoro timers like these work well too. Doing things in short sprints can reduce the overwhelm.
A Note on ADD, ADHD & Neurodiverse Learners
For neurodiverse kids, especially those with ADD or ADHD, these challenges can be magnified. The mental effort required to stay organized, shift focus, or even start a task can be exhausting. I say this not just as a parent - but as someone with a squiggly brain myself 🙃 If I can barely keep things straight some days, imagine how overwhelming it is for our kids, who are still learning how to manage all of this.
Many kids with ADHD are incredibly bright - but they might struggle to turn in assignments, remember materials, or stay engaged. Executive function coaching can be especially helpful here, but so can structure, empathy, and flexibility at home.
If you suspect your child is neurodiverse, talk to your pediatrician or school counselor about options for assessment and support.
There’s no perfect system - but there is progress. Whether you work with a coach or just try a few tools at home, your support, presence, and patience matter more than any planner or app. Middle school is a wiiiiild ride, but our kids are more capable than we think!
