Your weekly “wait, that’s happening?” digest
If you feel like you’re simultaneously packing lunches and forgetting why you walked into the kitchen… WELCOME. For a lot of Westside moms, the parenting years overlap with the perimenopause/menopause years in a very real way—especially because families here often start later.
Why this hits the Westside a little differently
Big coastal cities tend to concentrate “later parenthood” for totally logical reasons: careers, housing costs, fertility support, finding the right partner, etc. You end up with plenty of households where the kids are in elementary or middle school… and mom is in her late 40s or 50s.
A few data points that help explain the overlap:
California births skew older now. In California, births have shifted toward parents 30+, with the majority of births in 2021 happening to people age 30 and older.
A meaningful share of births are to parents 40+. In recent March of Dimes summaries (2021–2023 averages), about 5.7% of births in California and 5.9% in New York were to people 40 and older.
So yes: it’s completely plausible to be a mom of a 2nd grader while also being deep in “Is this a hot flash or did someone turn on the heater?” territory.
Quick refresher: what perimenopause/menopause actually are
Perimenopause = the transition years leading up to menopause (often includes irregular cycles + symptoms).
Menopause = diagnosed after 12 months without a period.
Average age: around 51–52 (varies by source + person).
Common symptoms that can collide hard with parenting:
mood shifts (often “PMS-ish,” but longer)
sleep disruption (night sweats + mood changes can feed insomnia)
hot flashes/night sweats
“brain fog” / concentration issues (the worst timing for science fair season)
Why it can feel extra hard with elementary + middle school kids
➠ Your kids need steady… and your body is doing improv
Elementary kids thrive on predictability. Middle schoolers thrive on… not telling you anything until 10:42pm. Perimenopause thrives on chaos.
Collision point: You’re trying to be the calm container while your nervous system is like: “We are overheating and emotionally reacting to a slightly loud chewing sound.”
➠ Sleep gets messy, but parenting does not
When sleep gets disrupted, everything is harder: patience, executive function, emotional regulation, and that small task called existing. Night sweats + anxiety + wakeups can create a compounding exhaustion effect.
➠ You’re parenting AND caretaking (sometimes both directions)
Many Westside families are in the “kids still need me / parents now need me” sandwich. Add hormonal transition and it’s a lot.
➠ The invisible labor doesn’t pause for hot flashes
Permission slip? Spirit week? That one specific water bottle? The field trip lunch that can’t include the thing you bought? You still carry the mental load—just with less bandwidth.
Local Support Worth Knowing: Hormone & Body-Centered Care in Our Own Backyard
If you loved our Venice Community Spotlight on Venice Community Spotlight: Kailani (Sister Herb), here’s a gentle reminder that local hormonal support isn’t just a concept — it’s happening right here in the neighborhood. Kailani, aka Sister Herb, is a Venice mama, certified holistic hormone coach, herbalist, and postpartum doula whose work centers women through big transitional seasons of life, from postpartum support to cycle education and more.
While her work originally highlights support for young people and postpartum parents, the philosophy Kailani brings — blending ancestral wisdom, plant–based care, and community connection — resonates whether you’re navigating your teenager’s cycle or your own perimenopausal shift.
What About HRT? (And Do You Have to Be “In” Menopause?)
Short answer: no — you don’t have to be fully in menopause to benefit from HRT.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be helpful during perimenopause, not just after periods stop completely. Many people start HRT when symptoms like sleep disruption, hot flashes, mood changes, anxiety, or brain fog begin interfering with daily life — including parenting, work, and relationships.
How to bring it up with your doctor
You don’t need special language or perfect timing. Try something simple like:
“I’m in my mid-40s/50s and dealing with sleep issues, mood changes, and hot flashes that are affecting my day-to-day life. Can we talk about whether HRT could help?”
One upside of raising families in Los Angeles? Access. When it comes to women’s health, we have more options than most — Western medicine, Eastern traditions, holistic care, and everything in between often exist side by side here.
HRT vs. birth control — what’s the difference?
Birth control usually contains higher doses of hormones designed to override your cycle and prevent pregnancy.
HRT uses lower, more supportive doses meant to replace what’s declining as hormones fluctuate and fall during perimenopause and menopause.
They’re used for different goals, even though both involve hormones — and one isn’t automatically interchangeable with the other.
Support for Every Stage of Womanhood
We’re genuinely excited to see more women-centered spaces like WUUM opening and thriving here on the Westside. Located in Santa Monica, WUUM is a beautiful, inclusive community space devoted to supporting women through every stage of life — from early cycles to postpartum, perimenopause, and beyond.
If you’re craving education, connection, or simply a place where hormonal health and life transitions are talked about openly and without shame, take a look at their classes, circles, and workshops. Spaces like this matter — and we love having them in our own backyard.
→ Explore upcoming offerings at wuumla.com
You don’t have to “tough it out,” wait until menopause is officially over, or accept feeling off as the cost of parenting at this stage of life.
If symptoms are affecting how you function, it’s reasonable to ask about options — including HRT — and to seek a provider who takes menopause care seriously.
Community Call-Out
Have tips, resources, or local providers you love and want to share? We’re always looking to feature voices and support that truly help Westside parents. Comment below — we’d love to hear from you.
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